Top Five Intellectual Couple Costumes

Last year, the hubby and I dressed up as a cheesy VH1 reality tv show couple.  This year, I'm grappling as to whether or not I even agree with the idea of Halloween (encouraging kids to take candy from strangers, glorification of evil, too many Jon+Kate costumes running around).

But it's always fun to dress up! Here are some of the ideas we brainstormed. In the end, we are actually too silly/fun for these serious costumes, but someone might like em.

1. Death + Taxes
For the political couple.

• One person wears a black hoodie and carries a scythe.
• The other person wears a shirt with 1040 written across it and carries a paycheck ripped in half.

Q: Who said the "only thing certain in life are death and taxes"?

2. Crime + Punishment (inspired by Dostoyevsky's seminal novel)
For the literary couple.

• One person wears a ski mask and carries a gun.
• The other person wears jailbird stripes and chains around their legs. 

3. A Zygote (too explicit?)
For the scientific couple.

• One person dress in black and pastes a round white circle on their body. 
• The other person dresses in black and pastes a white sperm shape on their body.

4. Binary Code (this one is nerdy, even for me)
For the computer savvy couple.

• One person wears a shirt with the number "1" 
• The other person wears a shirt with the number "0"

5.  Michelangelo and David
For the brave, artsy couple.

• One person wears a beret, striped shirt and carries play-doh.
• The other person (male) goes bare-chested and poses still every few seconds like the statue.

* In the same vein, you could also be Da Vinci and the Mona Lisa.

Dishwashing 101

8:28 am - Me, dialing my hubby for the first time of many times during the day.

Me: Hi boo-boo.

Hubby: Hi honey.

Me: Did you run the dishwasher last night?

Hubby: Yes, you're welcome.

Me: Next time, can you please check me with first?

Hubby (incredulous): Are you trying to micro-manage the dishwasher?

Me: Yes, I have a system.  Did YOU go to an Ivy League school?

Hubby (teasing) : Ok, next time I'll check with you before I run the dishwasher.

Both of us laughing hysterically now, except I am dead serious.

Yes, I have a system. Like many working women, I take weekends off. That means I run the dishwasher Friday night, don't cook and don't touch a dish all weekend long. And maybe I'm not managing a multi-million dollar business, but I am HOUSE CEO. And most of the times my employees (dishwasher, vacuum, swiffer) listen and respect me.  And when they don't, I call my husband.

Ex-Boyfriend Stalking

When INSOMNIA hits, you will eventually have the brilliant idea to see what your past flames are up to...

What are my ex-boyfriends doing?

• One is in Iraq. Has scary photos of himself with AK-47s and such. It freaks me out to see a sensitive soul turned into a killing machine. Definitely not the guy I dated.
  
• Another one has a facebook status update that reads: "99 problems, but a b--tch ain't one." Ok, so he's still a player. Would not want to be the Beyonce to his Jay-Z.
  
• This one graduated from Harvard Law and has the coveted "Harvard-Harvard" pedigree. He was the one my mother wanted me to marry. Still looks boring, though.
  
• Silly boy who dumped me after only one date. Guess he doesn't count as an ex, although looks like he is starting business #3. Not sure if that denotes success or failure. 
• Another one in the military. Surprised, because he always seemed like the lazy type.
  

NONE are married.
Let's assume this means they never got over me.
 

**Bonus tip on e-stalking: Check wedding channel to see if someone is registered, then you know if they are married or getting married.
**Bonus tip on moving on: If you're still hanging to sentimental jewelry from the past, get him Out of Your Life now or sell the ex-boyfriend jewelry yourself.

Mac Gal without Her Trusty Mac

My lovely MAC laptop is in the shop.

On a rare cleaning spree, I felt inspired and ran the vacuum across the keyboard. Go ahead and laugh. This sucked up the letter "D" and the "#3" key. Alas, it is now in the shop getting a keyboard replacement.

I use blogo so posting using my husband's antiquated PC just irritates me. So I will rejoin the blogosphere, hopefully, come Thursday. Cheers! In the meantime, please check out my fav distractions:

• www.ordinarysaturdays.com
• www.blissfullydomestic.com
  

Featured Housewife of the Week [HOW]: Jo-Lynne

The reason I feature a Housewife Of the Week (HOW) is because, as a newbie housewife myself, I look to YOU all for inspiration. These ladies are incredible women, redefining and reclaiming what it means to be a "housewife".

I first discovered Jo-Lynne, from the Philly area, through her blog: Musings of a Housewife. Then I found out she had 2 other blogs (Chic-critique and DCR design) and  I was like wow... She's a power-blogger, supermom to 3 kids, and a genuinely nice person (you can totally tell!). Read more about Jo-Lynne below.

I guess I would have to say I'd like to look like I did when I was 25, but know what I know at 37.  Ha.  

Best housewife tip: Hire a housekeeper.  SERIOUSLY.  It's the best thing I ever did.  And in between visits, my best tip is to try to keep up with the clutter so you're not running around like a chicken with her head cut off the night before said housekeeper is to arrive. 

Random Facts: I spend the better part of my life on this here computer.  My favorite things to do are cook and shop, but not necessarily in that order. 

Fav Recipes: 

Chicken Chili and Swirled Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Cheesecake Bars (To.Die.For.)
 

"Must Have" Style Item: A killer handbag.  :-)

Crazy Sweepstakes Lady

I have become one of those crazy sweepstakes ladies. I got the idea from a CNN article. I even have a "strategy" (as advised by past winners and experts) and I enter probably 20-25 sweepstakes a day.

So far I have won a coupon for cupcakes and a certificate for a 30-day subscription to the Zagat food guides for my iphone -which sadly I cannot figure out how to access. Random, I know.

Anyway, if carpel tunnel doesn't get me, it's only a matter of time before I win that car or vacation or CASH. If you too want to jump on the bandwagon, I recommend exploring about.com's tips which link to lots of great articles and advice.

Cheers! And I hope see you in Majorca with my Volkswagen, blender, and of course, bag of cupcakes.

When Your Husband Buys Undies Because You Can't Handle Laundry

Today I am laughing. I am full of joy. I feel blessed. Yesterday, my husband came home from work with a Target bag full of underwear and undershirts. I shrieked: "You went to Tar-jay without me?"

Let's back up. My hubby has done the laundry since we've lived together (about 2 years). When we first met, I was the too-busy-to-stop-crack-berrying career woman who proclaimed: "I don't DO laundry." Before that, I paid for a service where I dropped off my dirty clothes and picked them up, freshly laundered, neatly folded and hanged.

Now that I stay home, it seems only fair that I would, at least, do some of the laundry --but, for some reason, I just can't get it together. Next week I will. I promise. Maybe.

Anyway, it's gotten so bad that this week my husband ran out of underclothes. Instead of complaining or asking me what I do all day (what do I do all day?), he quietly and determinedly went to Target and bought some more underwear. This cracks me up. It's exactly why I love him.

He is simply the most understanding man in the world.

Before we got married, we read all these books about how communication, compromise, and changing your stubborn ways to be a better partner are the MOST IMPORTANT things in a marriage.

None of these books made an impact until we read John Gottman's book, which emphasized that you have to find someone who loves you as you are, flaws and all, someone who doesn't judge you or criticize you. You have to respect and appreciate each other's differences, or in my case, irrational behavior/moodiness.

Be with someone who you would be friends with even if you weren't married. I notice many married couples, like my parents, who don't actually LIKE each other, even though they love each other. Instead of telling us how to communicate better or be better partners, Gottman's book just told us to accept each other no matter what.

So this week, as I segued from crying mess (the doggie passed away) to diva (I'm planning a full-on luxury honeymoon which is turning into a circus), he simply loved me.

"You've had a tough week, honey" was all he said when I wondered aloud why he wasn't upset that I refuse to do laundry. Thing is, as I sit here in my granny undies (all out of cute ones), I can't remember a time when I haven't had a tough week.

I am such a drama queen. But he cherishes me and gets me. Most importantly, he always understands.

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How to Keep Him Interested [1] - Not So Secret Admirer

Today, I'm supposed to be cleaning. I designated Wednesday as my "cleaning day." This was a tip from another housewife. Pick a day to straighten up or clean. But I'm a newlywed, so what I'm most into is keeping the flame alive with my hubby. And don't tell me it won't last: science says otherwise.

So because you all give great recipes, links to coupons and sales, advice on kiddies and products, I'm going to give back too! My house may not have been vacuumed in a month (shameful I know) or my pantry may lack baking soda (or is it baking powder I am supposed to have?), but one thing I am good at is keeping a man, my hubby, interested. My goal is to do one thing each week to keep our passion strong. This week:

WRITE YOUR MAN A LETTER OR SEND HIM A CARD from a "secret admirer." Mail it to him at work. Feel free to be as naughty as you want. If his assistant or secretary opens his mail, put another envelope within the main envelope and mark it super private. I like to give a clue that it's me, but a spicier me. You can even make it cute like this grade school crush letter I found on flicker.

Can't wait to hear from you all to see if you tried it and what happened!

One Size Too Small and Top Five Healthy Eating Habits

Ever since my weight gain, I have abstained from shopping.

I cannot fathom entering the dressing room which will only betray how, even though I deny it, the extra jiggle in my butt is the physical reminder of how getting fired has totally wrecked my confidence. 

I've been small all my life and luckily I "carry my weight" well so the average person could not even tell I've gone from a loose 2 to a tight 6 in just a couple of months. I'm really short so it's unhealthy for me to be carrying a lot of this extra weight (even though I know a size 6 is not really big, but it's all relative...my BMI is too high).

So, in an attempt to motivate myself, I bought two items of clothing TOO SMALL. They are sitting on the top shelf of my closet ready to be worn. It was Banana Republic's anniversary sale and I randomly got $25 off any order plus free shipping, so I bought this:

Denim palazzo pant (makes my butt look amazing; now if I could just zip them up... ).
Banana Republic - $34.99

Cute pink beaded top (makes me look extra chesty and my hubby extra happy)
Banana Republic - $14.99

Also, I bought shoes because Shoes don't judge you and therefore are always fabulous.

Uber-trendy patent gladiator sandals (now only $26.94 at DSW)

Here are my TOP FIVE favorite eating/healthy lifestyle tips, culled from years of Cosmo and Self mag articles, Oprah's Best Life and various eating plans.

• 1) When you reach a goal weight, reward yourself with something OTHER than food.
• 2) Before eating something, think WIWM (What I Want More) - this cheesecake or to look great in my little black dress?
• 3) Don't eat certain foods when you are feeling a particular emotion. If when you feel sad, you reach for ice cream, consciously change your thought process and reach for something else. This will teach your brain and rewire it for better eating habits. (This one really works)
• 4) Cut down on cravings. If you have a craving, stall/distract yourself for 15 minutes. Surf the net and read housewife and wedding blogs, paint your nails, make a cup of tea. The craving will disappear. It gets easier every time.
• 5) Eat what you want when you want. WHAT??? This is "the secret." If you truly believe you have a fabulous body and consciously feel yourself at your ideal weight, no need to restrict yourself because you will know what to eat and when.

*ps BAN THE "D---" word from your vocabulary.

Sick Dog, Sadness, A Haiku and Cutting Onions

I'm sad. My dog is VERY sick, in his final days in fact. Knowing how full of life he once was, it breaks my heart now that he can barely stand up. And let me tell you, he was no ordinary dog: CRAZY (howled when the phone rang), stubborn (had to drag him outside or inside depending on the weather), moody (refused to eat if he felt you weren't giving him enough attention), overall impossible (he once stole the Thanksgiving turkey ). He bit everyone in the family, at least once, was territorial about his toys, ran like a banshee around the house, and loved us all more than we could imagine.

A haiku for the dog

Man's best friend you are

Furry ball of black and white

Love as real as faith.

When I am sad, I cut onions. My real tears mix with my onion tears and I feel, as though, if I can cut enough of these small yellow vegetables, my grief will somehow be absolved in the act, as I punish myself, slice after slice, chop after chop, ever so fine, over and over again.

Housewife Cleaning 101

I don't know how you ladies do it! I like my house to be neat, bordering on OCD, but dirt grosses me out.  When cleaning up, I'm completely uneconomical wasting hundreds of paper towels and bleaching everything [blame my mother who instilled in me a healthy fear of germs]. By the time  I'm done, I'm exhausted like right now. My hands are dry and ashy. I take my gloves off after a while because my wrists start itching. AND I've only cleaned one room...everything else is still ew ew ew.

I get all 3 years old when cleaning.

Looking at the dust pockets in the corners just might give me a nervous breakdown.  Dust is like your clingy ex boyfriend. NO matter what you do, you can't get rid of it. It keeps on lingering even when you think it's gone.

omg, are those fingernails??

Thank goodness the hubby and I are staying at a hotel tonight. We do that occasionally. Take a one night trip to a nearby city or town, just because. I highly recommend it. Instills a sense of adventure, especially when you use priceline or hotwire and have no idea where you're staying.  I usually overpack, like I already have kids: tons of snacks, board games, ipods, cameras, extra clothes, rain gear, first aid kit, etc.

When I return, more cleaning awaits. Or we can just keep the lights really dim. What spots?

Tablescape Thursday: Halloween Decor Galore

I just discovered THE BEST WEBSITE for creating and having the kind of parties you see featured in magazines.

Granted I've never thrown a big party. The idea terrifies me!

• What if someone finds a hair in their canape? 
• Or if I'm ridiculed for my adolescent obsession with pop music (quietly playing in the background)?

For now, I just have a couple of good friends over. That stresses me out enough as it is. Just ask my husband as I ask him to organize his side of the medicine cabinet less we appear less "put together" than people think we are. I know I peek when I use other people's bathrooms.

The HostessWithTheMostess website has holiday entertaining ideas with TONS of pictures.

MODERN MIDNIGHT MADNESS

 

GHOULS' NIGHT

PLAYFUL MOD

 

 

SPOOKY CHIC

 

 

For each theme,the website explains how to decorate the table, what specialty drinks to serve and there is even a link to specially designed Evites that match the theme. The details are to die for [insert spooky laugh]. My favorite is spooky chic. Which do you all like?

Top Five Housewife Muumuu Dresses

Since I live, breathe, cook, clean and pretend to exercise in my Housewife MuuMuu, below is an homage to all my favs. A MuuMuu does not have to be a floral mess people. I'm all about simple, modern, understated style - with a touch of personal flavor or pizzazz.  Also, I'm convinced a "Maxi dress" is really a MuuMuu modernized and repackaged under a cuter name.

What I love most about a great MuuMuu is its unconditional love. Whether you gain or lose weight, it's a faithful friend. It's never a hassle to hang with and it tries hard to make you look good.

LOOK #1 - Kimono Queen  
[Mossimo Kimono Sleeve Maxi, Target, $18.99]

*Multiple color options: black, pimento, napoleon blue. Slip a tank underneath if it dips too low.

LOOK #2 - T-Shirt Gal 
[Cotton t-shirt dress, Banana Republic, $24.99]

*I know what you're thinking. Isn't that just a t-shirt being sold as a dress? Maybe, but it makes that model look hot. And so can you if you are 6 feet and bone thin. In all seriousness though, it fits like a dress not like your hubby's shapeless [insert sports team] shirt.

LOOK #3 - Modern Mama 
[Eliza J Dot Maxi Dress, Nordstrom, $46.90]
"My life is brilliant. My love is pure..." (lyrics that fit the vibe of this You're Beautiful dress)

LOOK #4 - BoHo Chic Lady 
[Meadow Chiffon Maxi Dress, Forever21, $24.80]

*Because we are all Forever 21. And it's cheap and oh so cute. 

LOOK #5 - Celeb Mom 
[Long Safari Dress, Rachel Pally on shopbob.com, $264]

*We can all dream. I love this dress.

Desperate Housewives and Burned Dinners

Last night, Desperate Housewives began with this observation:

There’s a certain kind of woman you see in the suburbs.  She waits in her bathrobe for the school bus; she stops by the post office with curlers in her hair; she goes to the market in sweatpants and a t-shirt.  This woman is a housewife and she doesn’t try being beautiful...because it’s a waste of time.

I totally disagree. Maybe it's because I'm a newlywed, but I definitely think looking cute is KEY to keeping your man interested, especially in this day and age of hot single ladies running around everywhere you look. Yes, that means you, Beyonce.

When my hubby comes home and I am wearing my muumuu --oversize, super comfy white hippy dress with brown polka dots-- he gives me a perfunctory kiss then goes about his day. Usually, my hair is a tangled mess. He spent over 2 hours last week undoing the giant knot in my hair that came from washing it after not brushing it properly for days. That's what I call love.

Anyway, point is: If I dab on some powder, squeeze my huge butt into pants that barely fit anymore, and let my hair loose, he's more interested. No joke. I've already noticed.  More sex. It's very subtle, but that's why it's called a woman's intuition. And he doesn't care that dinner is inedible burnt potatoes. I tried! It was supposed to be simple. Garlic, salt, pepper, potatoes. What could go wrong?

If you burn dinner, at least look good doing it.

First Featured Housewife of the Week [HOW] - Brittiny

Meet Brittiny, 29, from Baton Rouge, Louisiana. She is the very first HOW - HOUSWIFE OF the WEEK. Doesn't she look fab?

 

Her MOTTO: "Laugh when you feel like crying."

Her BIO : I was a biomedical engineering major at Vanderbilt EONS ago.  Then I was blessed to discover I was pregnant with my cutie patootie kid and became a court reporter.  Unfortunately, my heart wasn't in it and I gave it up and moved to Louisiana to explore other options and met the man of my dreams.  I now own Amour Toujours Event Design and stay home to take care of my wonderful family.  

Her BIZ: Amour Toujours Event Design
Couture. Sophisticated. Chic. Modern. Stylish. You.
Louisiana - Mississippi - Tennessee
www.amourtoujoursevents.webs

Her BLOG: www.mochafrugalista.blogspot.com

Her RECIPE:
Easy and Yummy Smothered Chicken with Mushroom Sauce
Prep time - 5 minutes, Cook time - 45 minutes

Ingredients

• Boneless Chicken Breasts
• Campbells Cream of Mushroom soup
• Seasoning of your choice
• Aluminum foil

How to Make It

• Preheat the oven to 375
• Put the chicken in a casserole dish
• Season it with your seasonings (salt and pepper, tony's, lawry's, etc)
• Cover the entire thing with the cream of mushroom (i spoon the cream of mushroom over the top of the chicken and then cover it with aluminum foil)
• Bake for 45 minutes and voila yummy chicken.(Even my picky eight year old asks for seconds!!!)

If you are interested in being featured, please email me at harvardhousewife [at] gmail [dot] com.

Housewife Weight Gain

Since I've been out of the workplace and staying at home, I've seriously gained about 15 pounds.  At first I was sure I was pregnant, then I was positive it was an ectopic pregnancy, until I decided it's probably just a hysterical pregnancy. Now I am facing the facts.

I've progressed (or regressed?) from barely eating/being a work-a-holic to basically being a homebody who eats three square meals and snacks. It's amazing to me that I am finally EATING HEALTHY and "treating my body right" (for the most part), BUT I'M GAINING WEIGHT because of it. I suppose it doesn't help that during marathon sessions of  A Baby Story, I choke down large bags of food while dabbing at my eyes.  Time to break out Turbo Jam, Tae-Bo, Cardioke, and all those other exercise tapes I've bought over the years.

What do you do to stay fit? Chase toddlers? Use a trainer? Walk with besties?

And YES, CARDIOKE is real! It's a combo of karaoke and cardio taught by none other than Billy Blanks son: Billy Blanks Jr.

Housewife Insomnia

I cannot sleep. I'm incredibly anxious. Like tomorrow there might be an earthquake and I forgot to catalog all of our possessions. Or like there's a secret episode of Glee I missed so I'll be out of loop tomorrow for twitter trends. What is #icanseeyourhalo?

My mom told me the other day: "You did not go to Harvard to be cleaning your house!" She feels that I should be running a corporation or at least a marathon.  She doesn't understand my current choice to take care of my home and take pride in that. God, please just help me figure out how to cook dinner and keep the kitchen clean at the same time AND keep my nails looking good. For me, it's usually one or the other. Brittle nails or not-so-fresh counter-tops. "I Got the Blues for Red" but I wish I were "Feeling Hot-Hot-Hot"

Things to do instead of sleeping:

• Organize your junk drawer.
• Name your future children. Alliteration is key. Alliteration is the vocab word of the day. I always think I know the meaning of words until I look them up. Often I'm surprised. Try defining a word before looking it up, then look at the definition.
• Look up random words. 
• Question your intelligence, then try on different nail colors at opi.com.
  
• Pick through the laundry and throw out your husband's old underwear (can't believe he still wears this holey mess).
• Revise old blog/diary entries which no one reads anyway.
  
• Try to go to sleep.
• Convince your husband to have a kid asap! so you can bolster your housewife image. "Well, I take care of the baby all day...and bake fresh organic pies." Even though you agreed to wait and just enjoy each other for, at least, a year. Crap, he's sleeping.
  
• Repeat.
  

Tablescape Thursday

Send me your Beautiful Tablescapes.
Why? Because it's Tablescape Thursday. And because whenever I am looking for table decor inspiration I am forced to troll through google images which is an amalgam of randomness, general tackiness, and of course, the occasional fabulosity.

Here's an HGTV tablescape centerpiece idea and this article explains how to do it.

And another glittering fall tablescape from HGTV.

I so wish there were a site for beautiful tablescapes that listed them all by style (modern, traditional), theme, color, shape (square, circular, long tables, etc), occasion (Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, birthday) etc.

• Learn more about tablescapes
• Get inspired!

Top Five WOMEN RULE movies

Recently, I've been watching a lot of WOMEN RULE movies. Maybe it's because I'm a housewife trying to validate my existence. Maybe it's because spending all this time with my hubby has me craving estrogen.

If you all need a pick me up, watch one of these TOP FIVE WOMEN RULE MOVIES asap!

1. The First Wives Club (1996) - Comedy, Inspirational


Recap: College best friends, who have grown apart over the years, team up to teach their ex-husbands a lesson and uplift other women.

Even if you love your husband dearly like I do, you will appreciate this one cause Bette Midler, Diane Keaton, and Goldie Hawn know how to work it.




2. Working Girl (1988) - Light Drama, Inspiring

Recap: A secretary fights back against her unappreciative boss and proves herself in the workplace.

Watch it because we all feel like our work and ideas sometimes go unnoticed. But, we have to remember that amazing things await us!





3. Steel Magnolias (1989) - Comedy, Tearjerker

Recap: A group of Southern Ladies survive life's tribulations with Southern grace, charm, wit and the support of each other.

Favorite line: "The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize."





4. Waiting to Exhale (1995) - Comedy, Romance

Recap: Four friends discover that life, love, and laughter is best when you are surrounded by good girlfriends.

All of us have best friends like this and can relate to these women's journey to find love.





5. Nine to Five (1980) - Comedy

Recap: Three under-appreciated secretaries realize their wildest fantasies and turn the tables on their boss with unexpected results.

This movie is a total classic, not to mention hearing Dolly Parton's title song will have you bopping your feet.





You can watch Steel Magnolias instantly (right now!) if you have Netflix or rent some of these movies from iTunes for $2.99.

Mystery Shopping Instead of Cleaning

My master plan is to subsidize the cost of a maid with MYSTERY SHOPPING. But if my first experience is any indicator I'm going to be scrubbing my dirty floors myself.

I figure a good maid service costs what? $30 an hour with a 3 hr minimum = $90 (basic package for dusting, vacuuming, straightening up). I can mystery shop to make this money, then use it to pay the maid. That way I am maximizing. As my husband will tell you, I am addicted to maximizing, which is a quite serious disorder - more on this later. For now, I get to shop, earn money, and don't have to clean.

After going through the 1 hour training and test, I find that my first shop only pays $4!!!! plus:

• I have to take several specific,digital time-stamped pictures.
• Observe in excruciating detail everything from landscaping to paint chips to pricing to employee name tags to employee heights to dirt and graffiti stains to bathroom cleanliness etc etc etc.
• Complete a lengthy post-observation survey.
• and after ALL THAT they will only reimburse me an additional $1 for gas and $1 for the store purchaseI am required to make. $1 worth of gas? That's not even half a gallon these days.

To make a long story short, at my FIRST MYSTERY SHOP, as luck would have it, my digital camera chooses that time to crap out and die on me. I submit the photos I have and start haggling with the company. They tell me they need another photo, so I go back to the store at MIDNIGHT to get it. Then they tell me it's not valid because it was taken at a later time. I am so livid. All this for $4. My time is worth sooooo much more. I QUIT. Until I realize they have docked my mystery shopper ranking by 1/2 a point and this irks me even more. So I'm going to continue to try mystery shopping. Because I'm a classic overachiever, if it kills me, I will be successful at mystery shopping! and achieve that elusive gold star rating.

Here are some links I should have read before signing up:

8 Truths Before You Start Mystery Shopping

Random Mystery Shopper Advice Blog

A list of the millions of companies out there

Use a scheduling service to target many companies at once

Also, can you believe it? You can get silver or gold certified to shop.

And by the way, NEVER EVER pay money to sign up for one of these companies or accept foreign checks. You can visit the Mystery Shopping Association's website for more info.

Budget Luxury

I grew up around really really rich people, but, alas, we were poor (not even middle class, but poor). I had to convince my mom to drive our family's little compact car to school when I turned 16, while my friends were racing their Jags and Mercedes in the parking lot. We all know how important fitting in is as a teen, and let's face it: It still matters when you are an adult. (Cue shows like Dallas Divas and Real Housewives). Are you all watching??

Over time, I learned many ways of fitting into "high society". To this day I am the master of "luxury on a budget" especially when it comes to decorating and fashion. And when you are newlywed, still paying for your over-the-top wedding (worth every penny!), you've got to find the bargains where you can. So this is the advice I can offer, but I really need your advice to keep my day-to-day household together.

Here is one of my favorite items in my home right now.

Don't have your grandmother's antique silver candlesticks? How about these fantastic IKEA glass candlesticks which are easier to clean and elevate any home's dining table. They look fantastic and cost from $8.99 to $11.99.

A modern twist on the silver candlestick.

First Harvard Housewife Post!

I hope my housewife diary is cathartic. I hope it helps other people like me get off the couch. I hope it's funny. Most of all, I hope you all enjoy it, contribute, and give me advice.

Every week I will feature the HOUSEWIFE of the WEEK (HOW). HOW does she do it? HOW does she stay sane? HOW can we learn from her? [*Look at the left sidebar on my blog to see how you can be featured*]

Every week I will attempt to use my smarts to do my job. Yes, being a real housewife is a job. Oprah says we deserve a salary and wikipedia lists homemaker as a profession.

As a newlywed managing my household, one of the very first tasks I want to master is HOW to cook. Easier said than done. 

Years ago, I tried to cook for a boyfriend and ended up covered in flour and screaming as hot oil sprayed over me. It was total disaster. I was trying to make eggplant parmesan. But instead of eggplant, I wanted to be creative so I chose zucchini and I chose to fry it. And when frying the zucchini, I mixed up the steps. Instead of zucchini slice --> egg ---> flour batter, I did zucchini slice --> flour batter --> egg. Also, I was trying to do this as efficiently as possible (multiple pots with hot oil on the highest temperature) because that's what I learned in my organization development class. Bad Idea.

So forget about the fact that I went to Harvard. Well, except for the fact that it's prominently featured in my title (shameless I know). Or the fact that I've mentioned it like a million times already. It's my one claim to fame, so let me revel in it, at least momentarily, while I sit here trying to figure out how to make Big Daddy's Spicy Beef Patties. I wonder if I can just substitute pillsbury biscuits for the pie crust and chicken for the beef.

It's going to be awesome figuring out this whole housewife thing.

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My Team

A team of people surround me, uplift me, and generally make my life a whole lot better as I navigate my newfound housewife identity. 

Once I left the work world, my friends disappeared. People just stopped caring...Wake-up call!  Most of my friends have pushed being wives and mothers to the back-burner for the siren call of the career ladder.

One of my friend's voice betrayed shock when I told her my plan of staying home. She said: "This is just not how I pictured you." For a moment, I felt some combination of shame and guilt, until I closed my eyes and breathed in the richness of the quality of my life, so I just smiled and rejoiced inside. I made the right decision.

Below are the people who are the true support system in my life, characters who will feature prominently in this blog.

My husband, the Saint: He works a corporate financial job, but pretty much always comes back in a good mood. He applauds me if our place is clean, but doesn't care if it's a mess (or rather, knows better than to say anything). He's only asked me once: "What's for dinner?" Otherwise, he assumes that if it's on the table, I cooked. If it's not, it's either burned or we're ordering take-out. My husband rocks!

My sister, the Angel: She tells me how awesome I am every day, as we exchange calls and texts from hundreds of miles apart. When she starts talking on the phone, I often put it down, go run an errand, come back and she's still talking! I'm helping her find a man this year because she's older than me and it's about time she got married and gave my mom some grandkids. 

My mom, the Mom: She's always right. The end.

My Maid: Coming soon, I hope.

Other less prominent members I'd like to thank are:
My Glam Squad

• My manicurist (mostly me, occasionally Jai, the lovely Vietnamese lady down the street)
• My hair stylist S. She comes to my house and makes me look pretty about once every couple of months before a big event when I'm trying to project an image of effortless glamour, being put-together and in control without even trying.  Her next apppointment will be right before we have the relatives over for the holidays.
  
• My esthetician (on the hunt for one right now; Skincarerx.com is just not cutting it!) 
• My stylist (Blair and Serena on Gossip Girl, magazine cut-outs, the vintage store around the corner and my random inspiration)
• My trainer (various exercise DVDs)
  

 *If you'd like to join my team, contact me.

My Stuff

Because I'm a Hahvahd gal (and I can't help myself)
AND
Because I'm completely unpretentious (this was my hubby's idea)...

Within most posts,  I include random trivia OR a vocab word of the day OR a literary reference OR a chart, diagram or graph. See if you can spot them.

• vocab words of the day
• random trivia 
• literary references
• charts, graphs, diagrams
  

 I also make random top five lists and dabble in haiku.
 
Here's what a fellow alumnus, late night host Conan O'Brien, has to say about being a Harvard grad:

You see, you're in for a lifetime of "And you went to Harvard?" Accidentally give the wrong amount of change in a transaction and it's, "And you went to Harvard?" Ask the guy at the hardware store how these jumper cables work and hear, "And you went to Harvard?" Forget just once that your underwear goes inside your pants and it's "and you went to Harvard." Get your head stuck in your niece's dollhouse because you wanted to see what it was like to be a giant and it's "Uncle Conan, you went to Harvard!?"

About Moi

My overall theme is blogging about the transitions, the moments between career woman and house woman, and all that comes with those titles. Blah Blah Blah. Who am I kidding? I blog about whatever comes to mind and hope it all makes sense. 

Here's the requisite witty and overtly dramatic ABOUT ME blurb:

When I got fired, it totally messed with my psyche and made me an insomniac.  Hilarity ensued.  So, in October of 2009, I started blogging about my mishaps and triumphs and discovered a fun and helpful community of mothers, housewives, and girlfriends who keep me Hopeful.  I feature my favorites.

I avoid house work and concentrate on house decor.

I hope you laugh at my funny bits, contribute to my "keep him interested" quest, and help me figure out if I want to be fit or fat.

Read more about me in my first post and beyond...

Cheers!

Harvard Housewife
Age: 27
Status: Newlywed
Mood: Enthralled (updated 01/27/09)